April 22, 2005

The Esuvee Beast

Category: Cars


Your Imagination: I've been seeing these weird billboards around town for a wihile. They have a photo of this weird hairy beast-thing that looks like a Jeep with the word "Esuvee" in big letters. For the longest time I couldn't figure out what the heck it was, until I had a few hours to kill on the internet. Anyway, here's the site.

This is an SUV safety site that supposedly teaches you how to properly handle your truck. It's actually sponsored by the government, and I suppose it's a good idea to teach people to drive in control, but this thing is so weird I thought it might actually be an anti-SUV ad in disguise. The fact remains, no matter how safely you drive it, it's still a hideous hairy beast from the stone age... weird weird weird.

Posted by Nick at April 22, 2005 7:15 PM


what is an esuvee???

Posted by: Jimmy at May 18, 2005 9:57 AM

"The Esuvee beast is the result of a $51.5 million nationwide settlement with the Ford Motor Company that resolved allegations of deceptive trade practices related to the sales and advertising of Ford Sport Utility Vehicles. As part of the settlement, Ford agreed to fund a nationwide consumer education campaign on SUV safety."
From http://www.atg.wa.gov/releases/rel_esuvee_013105.html

Posted by: Jeeves at May 20, 2005 1:00 AM

well, I think you need to get your facts straight, All Jeeps have a 7 slot grill, with slots running parallel not horizontal. and not all Jeeps are considered sport utility Vehicles.
Just because it has round headlights dosent mean it's a jeep.

sorry for busting your bubble.

Posted by: concerned jeeper at August 13, 2005 7:43 AM


Posted by: Brent at August 16, 2005 3:53 PM

no joke what a waste of money helping save these stupid yuppies that drive their retarded SUVs or "esuvees" either way you spin it, this stuff is retarded. All of the stuff they are "teaching" is common sense. What will there be next a huge campaigne on shower safety. We are people if we buy something like a SUV I think we can handle it. If we can't well laugh at those who flip the damn things because they are too stupid, no what do these people do they go ahead blow a ton of money on teaching people how to drive, load, and use a fricking SUV. I think they should use that money to show people how stupid SUZs really are. Maybe it's just me that thinks this is so dumb... Or maybe I havnt founded the "awesomeness" in that crazy animal...

Posted by: Brent [TypeKey Profile Page] at August 16, 2005 3:58 PM

wow, my favorite part is the guy that got all defensive about the jeep. what a teabag. loser

Posted by: youguysarestupid at September 20, 2005 11:55 AM

by the way, jeeper, things which are parallel can also be horizontal. you're probably thinking of 'vertical', the opposite of horizontal.

Posted by: a friend at November 27, 2005 8:59 PM

Actually, a lot of people can't handle Esuvees. An SUV license is the same as a car license, but SUVs have a higher center of gravity. If you take turns hard, what would equal more gripping power on the road in a regular car, could equal a nasty skid, or even a flipover in an Esuvee. And by the way, the 'stupid' people who flip SUVs may be perfectly fine in a car, but an SUV and a car drive differntly. You can take the best compact car driver in the world, strap them into an SUV under bad conditions, and you may very well have an accident on your hands.

Posted by: Tigermano at March 7, 2006 3:50 AM

You couldn't figure out what that was until a few hours of internet surfing? Hah! Dumbass.

Posted by: Haha at January 28, 2007 12:46 PM

Hey "haha", he's obviously a lot smarter than you! Go to hell and lick the dog you pathetic waster!

Posted by: Bippsie at January 30, 2007 1:50 PM

I'm a Jeep guy and not all Jeeps have 7 slot grilles the WW2 Willys had a 9 slotgrill. It was a Ford design. Most Jeeps after that had 7 slot grilles, but not all!

Posted by: 7slotgrill at June 23, 2007 10:44 AM

There are SUV's for sale. Nothing is wrong with that, or the people who buy them.

Posted by: howardfranklin at December 28, 2007 8:46 PM

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